The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
