some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
