Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
