I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Randomize
