Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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