All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
