Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
ok first of all what the fuck
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
