There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There r osticjed everywhere
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
