Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
