ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He shit in the fireplace
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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