She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
