My first STD was from a foam party
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
