HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
