just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
