YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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