im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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