Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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