Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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