We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
