So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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