Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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