Are we in a gay sports bar?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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