Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize