I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
