It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
