it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
