yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
