i don't like sucking hair
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
