Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
