Princesses don't give blow jobs
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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