I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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