I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
