Your face is a jimmy john
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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