I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
