So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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