I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
