It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
bring money and cleavage
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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