I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it's like iHOP with fire
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
