her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
