Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
