He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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