It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize