i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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