I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
