Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So many bounce houses so little time
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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