sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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