hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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