During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
