Nicole vs. Life
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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