One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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