You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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