I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize