You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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