She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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