I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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