I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
