I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
