after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
