don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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