he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We're not piercing ourselves today.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
