summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
why do cheetos always look like penises
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
