they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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