how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Even my vagina gasped.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
