your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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