Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
