That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
