the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
