When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
