apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
