she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
