Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
