There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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